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People have mixed feelings about dating while going through the divorce process. While dating someone new can boost your confidence after a break-up, should you wait until the divorce is officially over before seeking out someone new?
Returning to the single life is a major adjustment. However, it also offers an exciting second chance at love. Some people have no issues dating before the divorce is final. Others would rather sign the divorce papers before moving ahead. And still others think they won’t date until the divorce is finalized, but they change their mind when they meet someone new. You just never know when fate will intervene and a new special person will come along.
Here are some reasons that dating during divorce may be the right choice for you:
You Feel More Positive: Dating will keep your mind off of the negative aspects of divorce. It will get you in an upbeat frame of mind.
You Can Relax More: You have probably been under a lot of pressure. Dating someone new gives you the opportunity to relax more.
You’re Able To Open Up: When you’re dating, you’re much more open and social.
You Make New Contacts: The person you’re dating is sure to have friends and it will create a whole new network of people for you.
You Can Renew Your Sex Life: In the final stages of your marriage, there was probably no sexual contact. Now you’re free to enjoy what you’ve been missing.
You Broaden Your Horizons: You will probably do things that you haven’t done in a long time now that you’re single. Be open to going on dates to art galleries, concerts and other cultural events. You can also go out with people that are in totally different worlds than the married world you were in.
Despite the above benefits of dating during divorce, you simply may not be ready to do so. Here are some reasons dating during divorce may not be right for you:
You Are Not Healed Yet: You may think that you’re ready to date, but you might not be healed yet emotionally. It is beneficial to work through any unsettled issues before taking on a new love interest.
You Are Worried About the Kids: Dating before the divorce is final may not be best for your kids. Sure you can be discrete, but you don’t want to be distracted from their needs.
You Would Like to Be More Financially Secure: Dating someone new can be expensive. You may need some time to get your finances settled after the divorce before you go on some nights out on the town.
You Want to Spend Some Time Alone: You may want be alone for a bit and dating may not allow for that. You can do things you haven’t done for a while or see friends you haven’t seen.
You May Be Judged: People who are against dating until the divorce is official may judge and gossip about you for moving forward now.
You’d Rather Date Someone Who Is a Parent: You may want to wait to meet someone else who is a single parent so you can relate to each other.
by:Lois TarterAuthor, divorce blogger and divorce party planner
Don’t talk about your ex. If you talk shit on them you’re not over them. If you talk about how awesome they are you are really not over them. You probably can’t talk in any way about your ex so don’t try. The last thing your potential love interest wants to hear about is your last relationship.
Don’t talk about sex.They don’t need to know that you like being dominated and tied up before they even know who you are. And that you read ” 50 Shades of Grey” 3 times…. keep it light—at least until you have had a few more dates.
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Sometimes we think listening to what other people say is better than trusting what we already know. When you are in a relationship or starting a new one the basic principle is that the more people involved in it the more difficult it gets. Everyone has an opinion and they are most likely wrong when it comes to your relationship.
If you want your relationship simple and stress free, keep it between two people. If you are private about your personal life you will be much better off.