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15 Wednesday May 2013
Posted Celebrities, Dating Advicein
07 Thursday Mar 2013
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Temptation is natural, humans are generally weak…but you have to, for you and your partner resist the temptation to cheat.
Why is the urge there? Typically the urge is there because you aren’t having enough sex in your own relationship or your life has gotten so monotonous, boring , too much of a routine. All humans tend to take life for granted, forgetting what brought us to the relationship to begin with. You have to work at a relationship, you really do.
If the urge is there , which usually happens with one person who sets you off, avoidance is the first key. Don’t get caught up validating your urge with someone at the office or gym because you feel close to them or are sexually attracted. You have to look down the road and step out of the moment to see if going through with this is worth the worst possible consequences.
If your finding yourself constantly weak in this area than evaluate what is really going on…..because cheating can cause such devastation in a relationship. Maybe just maybe you aren’t with the right person…..It happens.
Don’t take your partner for granted, EVER. Make sure you do the little things that you did in the beginning that brought you close. Have a healthy sex life…..is a must. This is the one thing that makes us feel the most desired and loved.
“No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance its by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice”
04 Friday Jan 2013
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So often in dating we know who the right girls to pursue are and who are absolutely wrong for us. It’s just a matter of whether we trust our inner voice or instead intend to merely satisfy our “most notable extremity”.
We know when someone genuinely appeals to us intellectually and spiritually and whether there’s potential for something meaningful but as men we often take the path of least resistance or choose the woman who appeals to our hunting instincts instead. We go after the ones seem the hardest to chase. The hottest girl at the bar who’s rejecting guys left and right. The younger girl who says she’s just looking to have fun. The party girl who jumps from event to event and man to man. We feel compelled to win their attention. It’s our competitive male nature. We want to bring home the shiny trophy, be the Alpha male and the Big Dog all at once.
Once we get that hard to get girl…then what? It’s boring. We realize she’s not really that hot or is totally unevolved, boring to talk to and the idea of spending a whole evening with her brings a dread not easily erased no matter how mind-blowing the sex may initially be.
This year try instead to pursue women who are available and opened to receiving you. Think about who’s going to make you happy in life rather than what’s going to make your privates happy tonight. If you do it right, those two things do not have to be mutually exclusive.
by mike muson in the unfinished man
16 Sunday Dec 2012
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I recently sat down with Joshua Pompey of www.getrealdates.com (link www.getrealdates.com to my site) for a chat on love an matchmaking. Click here for our full interview http://www.getrealdates.com/interview-with-elle-france/, and feel free to check out plenty of free online dating advice from Joshua Pompey by clicking www.getrealdates.com/online-dating-tips-for-men
11 Sunday Nov 2012
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A Cougar,is a woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt, rather than be hunted.
Usually she is between thirty-five and fifty years-old and enjoys the company of younger men. Its become so mainstream and accepted that a lot of people are jumping on the bandwagon. ROAR!!
There are younger men who are sick and tired of women their age — they want a woman who is more grounded and more mature. Age is just a number.
The paradox, of course, is that the older-woman relationship makes perfect sense when it comes to life expectancy, with women outliving men by an average of five years. But with men’s fertility far outlasting women’s, biology makes the case for the older-man scenario, and recent research has even suggested that older men having children with younger women is a key to the survival of the human species.
Why should there be anything unusual about it? It is only our preconceived notions which dictate that women should be in relationships only with slightly older men or that two individuals should be in more or less the same age bracket. There are many older women, younger men relationships that have worked and been as successful as any other relationship.
06 Tuesday Nov 2012
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Looks do matter: With any new information, the first step is accepting its validity. And in this case, it means absorbing an unpopular, but undeniable reality — looks matter and they impact relationships. As superficial as it may seem, it’s a truth most of us recognize instinctively, even if it’s one we hate to admit. So, while we like to believe, “it’s what is inside that counts,” clearly who we are and how we look matter to our partners.
Remember, for most of us, our first encounters with our mates involved physical attraction, from the initial exchange of smiles to that memorable first kiss. We become intoxicated by our mate’s scent, by the way they feel and the way they make us feel. Regardless of their “objective” physical appearance, they become beautiful to us. Our experience of our mate is most often based on a developing an interpersonal connection as well as an ongoing physical one. As the relationship evolves, the hope is that both will grow.
Our culture has come a long way in broadening the roles that partners play in each other’s lives. Women no longer simply attract a mate to stay at home and have babies. Men don’t just seek a mate to produce and protect a family. But physical attraction still matters in the success of relationships. And unless we find a healthy way to take that into account, we do a disservice to ourselves — and our partners.
Published on May 21, 2012 by Vivian Diller, Ph.D. in Face It
03 Saturday Nov 2012
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Can a matchmaker really find you a perfect match? This is what I do. I feel like I am extension of you when I am out finding a person that you are looking for. What you would like in someone, I like. What bothers you about someone, bothers me. To me its like an acting job, I take on your character, yet, I don’t have any insecurities about getting all the info or being rejected or asking all the questions that you want to know. Because I am not out looking for me, I am looking for you. So it’s better than you doing it. I am you when I see that beautiful girl or great looking guy that you would like and I ask the questions that you want to ask, I sit down and watch them behave. I learn about them differently than you would. Their guard is more down with me and I can cut through all the BS. Then I know, I get that feeling that “yes they would be a good match for you.” Let me be you and find that match that you want to find. Let me go through that initial ‘meet’ to see if there is any potential to take a chance on for you. Wouldn’t it be cool if there was two of you?
03 Saturday Nov 2012
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|uy meets girl. Guy likes girl. (Or maybe guy doesn’t even know her that well and merely thinks girl is kind of hot). No matter what the circumstances, the next step is pretty much always a given: Guy tries to have sex with girl.The notion of male undifferentiated lust is so widespread (and true) that it has spawned generations worth of recommendations to women on how to handle their suitors’ earliest amorous advances. Most, if not all, the advice has been along the lines of “If he can get the milk free, why would he buy the cow?” In short, the conventional wisdom among a lot of women I know is this: If you have sex with a guy on a first or second date—or worse yet, on the very night he strikes up a conversation with you at bar—then your chances for a long-term relationship with him are doomed.
But these days, shouldn’t you be able to have sex when you want and with whom you want, without worrying about it undermining your chances of enduring love? For the answer, I asked three men with very different perspectives to reveal what they think about women who’ll hop into bed at the drop of a hat—and what women can do and say that could convince a guy to keep calling.
Q: What do you think about women who sleep with you on the first or second date—does it impact whether you see her as a potential long-term girlfriend?
Jack (40 years old, divorced): Though the answer will no doubt send ripples of shock and disbelief throughout the female species, I don’t view the timing of the first occurrence of sex with a woman as an indicator of anything. Never.
Stan (35, never married): If a girl slept with me that quickly, I would consider it a deal-breaker. Men are wired to want to sleep with others more quickly because of instant gratification. But if a woman had that little self-control, it would not bode well for the future.
Alec (50, never married): In my mind, it doesn’t make a difference—as long as the woman understands that just because she slept with me, it doesn’t mean the rest of the relationship is also moving quickly. But I will say, it does sort of put pressure on the situation when you sleep together so quickly. It makes the getting-to-know-you part tougher. One or both of you may have expectations of what the next date will be like. For example, if you sleep over, what happens when one doesn’t want to sleep over the next time? Does the other feel slighted? Does it mean every date is a sleepover, and if it’s not that you’re regressing? It makes things tougher.
Q: Are there cases where you do sleep with a woman early on, but are still open to a serious relationship with her—say, if the sex is great, or you two really hit it off during brunch the next day, or she’s friends of friends?
Jack: Sure. Great sex only makes us want to be with you more. And if we hit it off after sex over brunch the next day, we consider it a win. Her being friends of friends has nothing to do with it; it’s a non-issue. In fact, if I don’t like her and she is a friend of a friend, I have to drop the blade sooner or the blow-back will be worse.
Stan: I think no, I would not be open to it. There was one girl I slept with on the first date, and we ended up having a relationship, but it was a woman I’d known and worked with for four months. But if it’s someone you just met and you slept with on the first date, there’d be no recovery from that. And I don’t think a woman should want to date a man who wanted to sleep with her on the first date. I don’t even try to sleep with women on the first date anymore.
Alec: This question is based on the idea that if you sleep together early on, you’re already thinking it will not be serious. So, in my mind, any man who rules out a woman who slept with him early on—well, he isn’t being very serious about finding a long-term relationship in the first place.
Q: In your experience, do you think women who make you wait for sex end up being better long-term partners?
Stan: I think they do make better potential long-term partners. As I’ve gotten older, I have realized there should be something sacred, private, and intimate about sex between two people. It’s a revelation and a sharing. I don’t think I would want to be with someone who’s so willing to share herself with others. I want someone who’s going to honor that aspect of herself and only share herself when it’s really appropriate.
Alec: Probably, yes. But it doesn’t work too well if she’s totally withholding physically early on. She needs to let you know she is receptive to sex with you and is holding off not because of lack of desire, but because she wants to get to know you more.
Jack:I disagree—in my mind, a woman who “makes you wait” is treating sex as a commodity. She’s trying to, as Pat Benatar once said, “use sex as a weapon” and trying to manipulate the outcome of the new relationship. If she feels the strength of a long-term relationship is contingent on when she “gave it up,” she needs to get in her time machine and leave the year 1952—which she’s obviously stuck in—immediately. As soon as she places such a high value on sex, she devalues the other, more lasting components of a successful long-term relationship.
Q: What, in your mind, is an appropriate amount of time for two people to be dating before sleeping together?
Jack: From the first date onward…
Stan: Probably three weeks to a few months. In this day and age, people are quick to make sex part of a relationship. It’s unrealistic to think you can be dating someone four months without sex. So, a few weeks to a few months.
Alec: Maybe five, six dates. But it’s very hard to make a rule for it. If there were rules about this stuff, it would be so much easier. I think it’s best if men and women talk about sleeping together and have some ease of communication established before they do the deed. Let’s face it, having sex changes the dynamics of a relationship.
Q: If a woman does end up falling in bed with you pretty quickly, are there things she can do to pave the way toward a longer relationship?
Jack: Yes. Don’t suddenly start withholding sex to “slow things down”. You want to have less sex or at least balance it with public, social interaction? Fine. We’re all for that. But we can’t undo the fact we had sex. Was it fun? Great, let’s do it again.
Stan: I think yes, if she convinces you that you’re special and that she doesn’t do this very often or hardly at all, if you feel there was something special between the two of you, then I think that would pave the way toward potentially overcoming that obstacle, if you will.
Alec: She should play it cool after the first time. If she sleeps with a guy early, then is a little evasive, it will drive him crazy and he’ll chase her more. This is the dirty little secret. If you tell women this, they will torture us forever.
02 Friday Nov 2012
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The problem with texting and dating is that too many men just don’t know how to do it right.
Funny, flirty, and confident messages will nurture the attraction between two people. This requires that men be original, think creatively, and author with purpose. As an example, when asking a woman for her phone number, I will text her immediately with a flirty message that says, “Who is that amazing guy you are talking to?” instead of saying “Hi,” “Thanks,” or “Nice to meet you.” Don’t forget, text messages are often reread. Send something that reminds a woman who you are or how you made them feel.
Another creative use of text messaging is to send pictures instead of texts. I happen to love women’s shoes and enjoy women who appreciate their footwear. So if I’m looking forward to seeing someone or want her to know that I’m thinking of her, I’ll take a picture of some great heels and send it to her with a message that says, “You would look great in these” or “Thinking of you.” If you don’t have the stiletto fixation I have, you could do this with something more fitting to your situation. In these cases, the messages are short, confident, and flirty. Style almost always trumps the substance of a text message, since anything “substantial” should be said in person. If the message would better be “said” than “read,” then you probably shouldn’t send it.
At the beginning of a relationship, first impressions can certainly be ruined by poorly conceived texts. Words, when used thoughtfully, can evoke powerful emotional responses in people. Next time you send a text, make sure it’s not just making conversation or replacing what should be a phone call. Messages should be used to elevate conversation. If you can do this, chances are that women will appreciate it, text you back, and look forward to hearing from you.
Texting definitely detracts from attraction.
Dating is all about getting personal, and texting is by far the most impersonal method of communication — a girl can’t derive any useful personality traits from a “Sup” text. This makes misinterpretation the biggest danger of texting in the early stages of dating. The action itself will speak louder than its contents, usually saying one of the following:
1.“I’m scared of you.”
Every time you communicate with someone, the recipient is aware that you had multiple methods available. You could have called, e-mailed, showed up at her doorstep, sent a singing telegram — the possibilities are endless. When a guy texts, it’s clear he chose to do so, leaving the suspicion that he’s too scared of you to actually speak with you, doesn’t have clue how to start a conversation, or is suffering from a social anxiety disorder. None of those things are sexy. Ever.
2. “I don’t really care if you respond or not.”
A text loosely translates to: “I don’t really care about you. It might be fun to go out tonight, and it would be awesome to have sex but I’m too tired/bored/uninterested to make any real effort. So if you get back to me, great. If not, I can finally catch up on Lost. Bonus if you drive over here and I can do both.”
3. “I just sent that text to every single woman in my address book.”
…And he will mostly likely hook up with the first girl who answers, unless of course a much hotter girl gets back to him before he gets Girl No. 1 back to his place.
If a guy genuinely likes a girl, he should want to talk to her. Plus, the act of talking has another positive outcome — it boosts his chances of success. It’s easy to ignore a one-line text message, especially if it’s a chain of lowercase letters and numbers, such as “u want 2 go out 2nite?” A nice, deep, human voice? Now, that’s harder to turn down.
By Koryn Kennedy and Abraham Lloyd http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/dating-texting-romanceRead more: Dating and Texting - Should You Text Your Date? - Marie Claire
30 Tuesday Oct 2012
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The most important thing is to be able to have that one person who just gets you . Watching couples and people in general throughout my life, I often wondered what the heck do those people talk about when they get home? How can he stand her? How can she stand him?
Then there are those people that socialize all the time because they don’t want to be home alone with this person whom they have nothing in common with as a couple. But they stay with each other, too afraid to leave , too tired to try. There are so many people out there to chose from that it seems overwhelming. Most people think just being with someone is better than being alone.
I want to help you find that person that gets you. I want you to be excited about meeting new people and realizing that there is someone out there that is the perfect match.
I can help you; I want to help you!