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Check Please

27 Monday May 2013

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Don’t do dinner for first dates.

There is nothing worse than getting stuck at a long dinner with someone for whom you just don’t like, especially since dinner doesn’t have any outs. Not Alone but Lonely
For this reason, I always advise my clients that first dates be planned for drinks only. This keeps the pressure off, because you always have the opportunity to leave after one drink if you aren’t feeling it. Or you can stay for a second drink if you are. Plus we aren’t the most attractive when we eat anyway.

Are you Quality or Quantity?

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, ( it seems) has tried online dating…its an addiction. The feeling of having a “dating inbox” that causes you to obsess over what is in it every day, often filling up with sleazy messages like “You look like fun – let’s have some.” Call me crazy, but do you want to go on 30 bad dates in the hopes of having one good one?

 I’ve always been an advocate of quality over quantity.  It was ingrained to me at a very young age by my father who would always say ‘you get what you pay for!’ And let’s face it; it just makes more sense. Those shoes you paid a bit more for will generally last longer.

I still believe in chance meetings, locked eyes across the room, and the thrill of talking to someone in public which gives us that great nervous/ excited feeling.  But I know that with technology that the temptation of looking online and checking your cell phone constantly has taken over. “Something better , something better” is all that you think…..If that doesn’t get you what you are ultimately looking for then you are going to have to try Something different. Only you know what you want.

Should you use a Matchmaker?

10 Thursday Jan 2013

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IMG_9363 (2)Matchmakers Aren’t For All Singles…

Matchmaking is for individuals that can not bear to be approached with dating games and prefer to make a change.

Don’t bother going to a matchmaking company if you have no curiosity in a real relationship.

If your only interested in casual dating, a professional matchmaker will be a useless and waste of valuable time and money. Matchmaking is for singles who are serious about a long-lasting companionship and prefer to do everything in their ability to stop encountering singles who aren’t committed towards a lasting relationship.

Stay clear of matchmaking if you’re broke.

A matchmakers services are an affordable yet meaningful investment in yourself and are not for everyone. Singles that use matchmakers realize that an investment in oneself can be the best decision they can ever make, especially if they are successful and are missing that special someone to share their life with.

Matchmaking isn’t for the pessimistic

If you don’t believe something is going to work out, well guess what, it’s not. Matchmakers work best for individuals that have a positive outlook on life what they’re looking for. You will not find success unless your sure you can. Sometimes matchmakers don’t always get it right the first time around, but if you are open minded and work with their experience, matchmakers can produce surprising results that you would never believe possible.

Above describes the kind of individuals who do not belong at a matchmaking service, but here are a few of the reasons you may want to consider using one. Matchmakers:

* Provide a pre-screening process to help make sure singles are real

* Weed out the undesirable types you would never care to meet

* Focus on relationship minded singles, not casual dater

* Cater to compatibility so you don’t waste time in dead end relationships

* Save you time, energy and effort by doing all the hard work

* Find you wonderful singles you simply wouldn’t find on your own

Matchmakers can truly change your life, but as the saying goes it takes two to tango……

So what are you waiting for, Get yourself a Matchmaker

by Julia McCurley.

8 Words that Most Liars Use

28 Friday Dec 2012

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“Left”
Sure, sometimes ‘left’ is the only word you can use in a situation, but there’s some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: “I left the bar at six” vs. “I went home at six”). It could be due to his desire to “leave” the lie behind.

“Never”
The big thing to look out for is when he says “never” when “no” will do. It’s a sign he’s overcompensating. For example, if you ask, “Did you just look at that girl’s butt?” and he says, “Never!”

“That”
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts “that” in front of a noun, like “that woman” or “that money,” it’s a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.

“Would”
If he skips “no” and goes straight to “I would never do something like that!” when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, “Are you still talking to your ex?” “I would never do that to you!” “Would never” suggests that he plans to do it in the future.

“Yes, ma’am”
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn’t apply. But if he suddenly says “ma’am” to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It’s a sign that he feels like he’s feeling stressed and knows he’s in trouble.

“By the way…”
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it’s what’s most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.

“But”
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, “I know this is going to sound strange, but…” or “I know you think I’m lying, but…”

“Why would I do that?”
It’s a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: “What kind of person do you think I am?”, “Are you calling me a liar?”, and “I knew this was going to happen to me!”

By | Love + Sex – Fri, Aug 31, 2012 11:09 AM EDT

Sex with your ex

09 Sunday Dec 2012

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You see it on TV all the time – a divorced couple hopping into the
sack for some afternoon delight. There’s even a song devoted to divorce sex from the television show “Cougar Town,” with the line: “It’s the best….but you’ll regret….sex with your ex…..”

Nobody talks about it but everybody’s doing it

Despite
how common it is, it’s not easy finding much research done on divorcing
and divorced couples getting that final hook up. There’s a lot out
there about dating after a divorce, but there isn’t much exploration of
that dirty little window of time between separation and divorce or just
after your divorce when for lots of all-too-human reasons a lot of
people fall back into old, familiar patterns, back into old, comforting
sexual routines with their exes. I suspect the lack of public
conversation is because most folks don’t want to talk about it. They just want to do it. The secrecy, the absurdity, the naughtiness is what makes it so hot.

Luckily,
people tell me stuff. So gathering all of my expert investigative
reporting skills I have discovered certain patterns that emerge in
ex-sex that I think are worth noting. See if any of these sound
familiar:

Hot Hate Sex: You’ve got two people who have a tremendous amount of energy and chemistry between them that looks and feels like hate.
They
trash talk each other endlessly to anyone who will listen (alas, most
often the kids) and seem stuck in the white-hot heat and intensity of
divorce in its earliest and meanest phase. OF COURSE THE SEX IS HOT.
Basically, you’ve got two adolescents rampaging on the hormonally
adolescent-like fumes of grief, rage, relief, terror and revenge.
It can happen once and flame out. Or it can sizzle for a while, until
it crashes. Both ways end badly. You can’t sustain it. All the old
wounds and rawness and resentments come tumbling out from under the
sheets with you. Usually one person (the woman) has harbored some tiny
fantasy that you might, despite it all, be able to get back together now
that the sex is hot and when that inevitably doesn’t happen, and things
inevitably get ugly again, it hurts all the more. Again.

Published on February 23, 2012 by Pamela Cytrynbaum in Because I’m the Mom

Looks really do matter

06 Tuesday Nov 2012

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 Looks do matter: With any new information, the first step is accepting its validity. And in this case, it means absorbing an unpopular, but undeniable reality — looks matter and they impact relationships. As superficial as it may seem, it’s a truth most of us recognize instinctively, even if it’s one we hate to admit. So, while we like to believe, “it’s what is inside that counts,” clearly who we are and how we look matter to our partners.

Remember, for most of us, our first encounters with our mates involved physical attraction, from the initial exchange of smiles to that memorable first kiss. We become intoxicated by our mate’s scent, by the way they feel and the way they make us feel. Regardless of their “objective” physical appearance, they become beautiful to us. Our experience of our mate is most often based on a developing an interpersonal connection as well as an ongoing physical one. As the relationship evolves, the hope is that both will grow.

Our culture has come a long way in broadening the roles that partners play in each other’s lives. Women no longer simply attract a mate to stay at home and have babies. Men don’t just seek a mate to produce and protect a family. But physical attraction still matters in the success of relationships. And unless we find a healthy way to take that into account, we do a disservice to ourselves — and our partners.

Published on May 21, 2012 by Vivian Diller, Ph.D. in Face It

 

 

Does Texting Help or Hurt Romance? He Said/She Said

02 Friday Nov 2012

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He Said…
The problem with texting and dating is that too many men just don’t know how to do it right.

Funny, flirty, and confident messages will nurture the attraction between two people. This requires that men be original, think creatively, and author with purpose. As an example, when asking a woman for her phone number, I will text her immediately with a flirty message that says, “Who is that amazing guy you are talking to?” instead of saying “Hi,” “Thanks,” or “Nice to meet you.” Don’t forget, text messages are often reread. Send something that reminds a woman who you are or how you made them feel.

Another creative use of text messaging is to send pictures instead of texts. I happen to love women’s shoes and enjoy women who appreciate their footwear. So if I’m looking forward to seeing someone or want her to know that I’m thinking of her, I’ll take a picture of some great heels and send it to her with a message that says, “You would look great in these” or “Thinking of you.” If you don’t have the stiletto fixation I have, you could do this with something more fitting to your situation. In these cases, the messages are short, confident, and flirty. Style almost always trumps the substance of a text message, since anything “substantial” should be said in person. If the message would better be “said” than “read,” then you probably shouldn’t send it.

At the beginning of a relationship, first impressions can certainly be ruined by poorly conceived texts. Words, when used thoughtfully, can evoke powerful emotional responses in people. Next time you send a text, make sure it’s not just making conversation or replacing what should be a phone call. Messages should be used to elevate conversation. If you can do this, chances are that women will appreciate it, text you back, and look forward to hearing from you.

She Said…
Texting definitely detracts from attraction.

Dating is all about getting personal, and texting is by far the most impersonal method of communication — a girl can’t derive any useful personality traits from a “Sup” text. This makes misinterpretation the biggest danger of texting in the early stages of dating. The action itself will speak louder than its contents, usually saying one of the following:

1.“I’m scared of you.”
Every time you communicate with someone, the recipient is aware that you had multiple methods available. You could have called, e-mailed, showed up at her doorstep, sent a singing telegram — the possibilities are endless. When a guy texts, it’s clear he chose to do so, leaving the suspicion that he’s too scared of you to actually speak with you, doesn’t have clue how to start a conversation, or is suffering from a social anxiety disorder. None of those things are sexy. Ever.

2. “I don’t really care if you respond or not.”
A text loosely translates to: “I don’t really care about you. It might be fun to go out tonight, and it would be awesome to have sex but I’m too tired/bored/uninterested to make any real effort. So if you get back to me, great. If not, I can finally catch up on Lost. Bonus if you drive over here and I can do both.”

3. “I just sent that text to every single woman in my address book.”
…And he will mostly likely hook up with the first girl who answers, unless of course a much hotter girl gets back to him before he gets Girl No. 1 back to his place.

If a guy genuinely likes a girl, he should want to talk to her. Plus, the act of talking has another positive outcome — it boosts his chances of success. It’s easy to ignore a one-line text message, especially if it’s a chain of lowercase letters and numbers, such as “u want 2 go out 2nite?” A nice, deep, human voice? Now, that’s harder to turn down.

By Koryn Kennedy and Abraham Lloyd
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/dating-texting-romanceRead more:
 Dating and Texting - Should You Text Your Date? - Marie Claire

Help me Help you

29 Monday Oct 2012

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Elle can help you make sure you get the type of person you are looking for . Wasting time on line can get frustrating. People naturally try to present a polished version of themselves, often stretching the truth on matters such as age, weight and height. But the bigger problem is that no profile can transmit the full essence of a human being. I hand pick everyone to your specifications and we work together to see if this is someone that you even want to meet. I love to hunt for you , I love to weed thru all the “crap” to find some that stimulates your brain . Help me help you.

Elle France Dating Advice

26 Friday Oct 2012

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Elle France Dating Advice

Welcome to ElleFrance.net.  I will be updating my dating advice and tips for you weekly. I will share with you fundamental basics that are always good to emphasize when it comes to the dating field. Plus, I’ll have entertaining stories for you to read here at ElleFrance.net. Are you looking to find love? If you live in Southern California, then I am the right ‘Dating Agent’ for you.

What sets my style apart from a regular matchmaker is I exclusively cater your match, your choice every step of the way.  If discretion and privacy are your first concern, this is what I pride my personal life on as well. As my client, nothing is more important than meeting your criteria first and how we work together professionally.

Dating and finding love isn’t always easy. I look forward to meeting you and developing a personal connection with you.  I can help you side-step all of the normal issues you face in the fierce dating world we live in today. After you feel comfortable with your right match, I am available for you if you need any advice or would just like to discuss how dates are going. I love all of my relationships with all of my clients.

After matching a client with a new date, I am always eager to hear the news, too! How exciting to meet and make a connection with a possibility this could be The One for you. I almost feel like I am on the date, too!

Please don’t hesitate to call me. This game of love is an exciting playing field. I look forward to meeting you soon.  You can email me anytime. Please include two recent photos.