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5 Deadly Terms Used By A Woman
(1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are right & you need to shut up.
(2) NOTHING: Means something and you need to be worried.
(3) GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission, so whatever it is do not do it.
(4) WHATEVER: This is a woman’s way of saying, forget you.
(5) THAT’S OKAY: She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.
These are all pretty spot on and I actually blogged about the dreaded “nothing” always meaning something (a man did wrong). But here’s my take, from the male perspective, on 5 Things Men Say & What They Really Mean.
(1) “I’ll Call You Later”
The problem with this statement is interpretation, or better yet misinterpretation. While men will define the word “later” as any time after now, women tend to have a specific window of time that defines “later” as meaning as soon as I reach my destination. It’s like somewhere between the words leaving a man’s mouth (or fingers via text) and reaching a woman’s ears, she adds an additional word like “tonight” after “later.” When I say, “I’ll call you later,” it doesn’t guarantee that later will take place within the next 24 hours just what it means, I’ll call you later—whenever that may be.
Translation: He’ll call when he has the time or remembers.
(2) “I’ve Been Busy”
Now this is often the first thing a man says when he hasn’t called a woman “later.” It’s actually a very valid reason when there’s major life catastrophes going on (death in the family, moving, new job, moonlighting as a superhero, etc.) but more times than not “busy” just means occupied with something (or someone) else. We’ve all heard the saying that a man makes time for the things he’s interested, right? Well, unless he’s Bruce Wayne that’s generally true.
Translation: He’s probably not that into you.
(3) “Wow, That’s Interesting”
Chances are whatever you’re talking about is actually pretty darn interesting, unfortunately only to you. However, since it’s apparently important to you he’ll play along and fake interest just for the possibility of scoring with you.
Translation: Sorry, I wasn’t listening and I couldn’t care less.
(4) “I’m Not Looking For a Relationship”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; men usually tell women where their head is at from jump but most women just tend to ignore what we say. If a man tells you on the first date that he’s not in a space where he’s looking for a relationship but you are and still pursue this man for a commitment down the line; who’s at fault when things don’t work out? Exactly, you. What some women try to do is trick themselves into believing he’ll change his mind, but most men generally stick to their guns and if you stick around after he declares his desire to stay single he’s not wrong in assuming you’re with it. When I broke up with my last girlfriend after college I told myself I needed to be single and made that clear to any woman I met. While I may have been upset at the few that walked away after a few months because they wanted more, at the end of the day I respected their decision to do so because it made sense.
Translation: He’s telling you the truth.
(5) “What Are You Talking About?”
This is my general response when I’m being accused of something that’s probably true but I won’t admit to for whatever reason. For instance, a date asks, “Why were you looking at another woman’s butt?” My response, “What are you talking about?” It’s usually a knee-jerk response that I subconsciously use to kill time so I can come up with a valid excuse. It also works well at transferring the focus from me to her by making her think she’s crazy and/or paranoid. By time she’s finished defending herself, she’s either forgotten my discretion or I’ve had time to come up with an reasonably valid excuse.
Translation: He’s lying.
How true was the five phrases women say and what they mean? If someone says they’ll call you later do you assume that means the same day? Do you buy it when someone says they’ve been busy? Do you agree that people make time for the things they’re really interested in? Have you ever faked interest in something someone was talking about just because you liked him/her? Would you rather someone tell you they’re not interested or is that rude? Do you take someone at their word when they say they’re not looking for a relationship? Have you ever tried to sway someone on that decision? How’d that work out for you? What’s your thoughts on the list of things men say and what they really mean?
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The problem with texting and dating is that too many men just don’t know how to do it right.
Funny, flirty, and confident messages will nurture the attraction between two people. This requires that men be original, think creatively, and author with purpose. As an example, when asking a woman for her phone number, I will text her immediately with a flirty message that says, “Who is that amazing guy you are talking to?” instead of saying “Hi,” “Thanks,” or “Nice to meet you.” Don’t forget, text messages are often reread. Send something that reminds a woman who you are or how you made them feel.
Another creative use of text messaging is to send pictures instead of texts. I happen to love women’s shoes and enjoy women who appreciate their footwear. So if I’m looking forward to seeing someone or want her to know that I’m thinking of her, I’ll take a picture of some great heels and send it to her with a message that says, “You would look great in these” or “Thinking of you.” If you don’t have the stiletto fixation I have, you could do this with something more fitting to your situation. In these cases, the messages are short, confident, and flirty. Style almost always trumps the substance of a text message, since anything “substantial” should be said in person. If the message would better be “said” than “read,” then you probably shouldn’t send it.
At the beginning of a relationship, first impressions can certainly be ruined by poorly conceived texts. Words, when used thoughtfully, can evoke powerful emotional responses in people. Next time you send a text, make sure it’s not just making conversation or replacing what should be a phone call. Messages should be used to elevate conversation. If you can do this, chances are that women will appreciate it, text you back, and look forward to hearing from you.
Texting definitely detracts from attraction.
Dating is all about getting personal, and texting is by far the most impersonal method of communication — a girl can’t derive any useful personality traits from a “Sup” text. This makes misinterpretation the biggest danger of texting in the early stages of dating. The action itself will speak louder than its contents, usually saying one of the following:
1.“I’m scared of you.”
Every time you communicate with someone, the recipient is aware that you had multiple methods available. You could have called, e-mailed, showed up at her doorstep, sent a singing telegram — the possibilities are endless. When a guy texts, it’s clear he chose to do so, leaving the suspicion that he’s too scared of you to actually speak with you, doesn’t have clue how to start a conversation, or is suffering from a social anxiety disorder. None of those things are sexy. Ever.
2. “I don’t really care if you respond or not.”
A text loosely translates to: “I don’t really care about you. It might be fun to go out tonight, and it would be awesome to have sex but I’m too tired/bored/uninterested to make any real effort. So if you get back to me, great. If not, I can finally catch up on Lost. Bonus if you drive over here and I can do both.”
3. “I just sent that text to every single woman in my address book.”
…And he will mostly likely hook up with the first girl who answers, unless of course a much hotter girl gets back to him before he gets Girl No. 1 back to his place.
If a guy genuinely likes a girl, he should want to talk to her. Plus, the act of talking has another positive outcome — it boosts his chances of success. It’s easy to ignore a one-line text message, especially if it’s a chain of lowercase letters and numbers, such as “u want 2 go out 2nite?” A nice, deep, human voice? Now, that’s harder to turn down.
By Koryn Kennedy and Abraham Lloyd http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/dating-texting-romanceRead more: Dating and Texting - Should You Text Your Date? - Marie Claire