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We all have Urges to cheat…can you resist yours?

07 Thursday Mar 2013

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Temptation is natural, humans are generally weak…but you have to, for you and your partner resist the temptation to cheat.

Why is the urge there? Typically the urge is there because you aren’t having enough sex in your own relationship or your life has gotten so monotonous, boring , too much of a routine. All humans tend to take life for granted, forgetting what brought us to the relationship to begin with. You have to work at a relationship, you really do. 

If the urge is there , which usually happens with one person who sets you off, avoidance is the first key. Don’t get caught up validating your urge with someone at the office or gym because you feel close to them or are sexually attracted. You have to look down the road and step out of the moment to see if going through with this is worth the worst possible consequences.

If your finding yourself constantly weak in this area than evaluate what is really going on…..because cheating can cause such devastation in a relationship. Maybe just maybe you aren’t with the right person…..It happens.

Don’t take your partner for granted, EVER. Make sure you do the little things that you did in the beginning that brought you close. Have a healthy sex life…..is a must. This is the one thing that makes us feel the most desired and loved.cheating-start-early

“No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance its by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice”
-Unknown

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8 Words that Most Liars Use

28 Friday Dec 2012

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“Left”
Sure, sometimes ‘left’ is the only word you can use in a situation, but there’s some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: “I left the bar at six” vs. “I went home at six”). It could be due to his desire to “leave” the lie behind.

“Never”
The big thing to look out for is when he says “never” when “no” will do. It’s a sign he’s overcompensating. For example, if you ask, “Did you just look at that girl’s butt?” and he says, “Never!”

“That”
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts “that” in front of a noun, like “that woman” or “that money,” it’s a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.

“Would”
If he skips “no” and goes straight to “I would never do something like that!” when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, “Are you still talking to your ex?” “I would never do that to you!” “Would never” suggests that he plans to do it in the future.

“Yes, ma’am”
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn’t apply. But if he suddenly says “ma’am” to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It’s a sign that he feels like he’s feeling stressed and knows he’s in trouble.

“By the way…”
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it’s what’s most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.

“But”
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, “I know this is going to sound strange, but…” or “I know you think I’m lying, but…”

“Why would I do that?”
It’s a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: “What kind of person do you think I am?”, “Are you calling me a liar?”, and “I knew this was going to happen to me!”

By | Love + Sex – Fri, Aug 31, 2012 11:09 AM EDT

Looks really do matter

06 Tuesday Nov 2012

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 Looks do matter: With any new information, the first step is accepting its validity. And in this case, it means absorbing an unpopular, but undeniable reality — looks matter and they impact relationships. As superficial as it may seem, it’s a truth most of us recognize instinctively, even if it’s one we hate to admit. So, while we like to believe, “it’s what is inside that counts,” clearly who we are and how we look matter to our partners.

Remember, for most of us, our first encounters with our mates involved physical attraction, from the initial exchange of smiles to that memorable first kiss. We become intoxicated by our mate’s scent, by the way they feel and the way they make us feel. Regardless of their “objective” physical appearance, they become beautiful to us. Our experience of our mate is most often based on a developing an interpersonal connection as well as an ongoing physical one. As the relationship evolves, the hope is that both will grow.

Our culture has come a long way in broadening the roles that partners play in each other’s lives. Women no longer simply attract a mate to stay at home and have babies. Men don’t just seek a mate to produce and protect a family. But physical attraction still matters in the success of relationships. And unless we find a healthy way to take that into account, we do a disservice to ourselves — and our partners.

Published on May 21, 2012 by Vivian Diller, Ph.D. in Face It

 

 

Does Texting Help or Hurt Romance? He Said/She Said

02 Friday Nov 2012

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He Said…
The problem with texting and dating is that too many men just don’t know how to do it right.

Funny, flirty, and confident messages will nurture the attraction between two people. This requires that men be original, think creatively, and author with purpose. As an example, when asking a woman for her phone number, I will text her immediately with a flirty message that says, “Who is that amazing guy you are talking to?” instead of saying “Hi,” “Thanks,” or “Nice to meet you.” Don’t forget, text messages are often reread. Send something that reminds a woman who you are or how you made them feel.

Another creative use of text messaging is to send pictures instead of texts. I happen to love women’s shoes and enjoy women who appreciate their footwear. So if I’m looking forward to seeing someone or want her to know that I’m thinking of her, I’ll take a picture of some great heels and send it to her with a message that says, “You would look great in these” or “Thinking of you.” If you don’t have the stiletto fixation I have, you could do this with something more fitting to your situation. In these cases, the messages are short, confident, and flirty. Style almost always trumps the substance of a text message, since anything “substantial” should be said in person. If the message would better be “said” than “read,” then you probably shouldn’t send it.

At the beginning of a relationship, first impressions can certainly be ruined by poorly conceived texts. Words, when used thoughtfully, can evoke powerful emotional responses in people. Next time you send a text, make sure it’s not just making conversation or replacing what should be a phone call. Messages should be used to elevate conversation. If you can do this, chances are that women will appreciate it, text you back, and look forward to hearing from you.

She Said…
Texting definitely detracts from attraction.

Dating is all about getting personal, and texting is by far the most impersonal method of communication — a girl can’t derive any useful personality traits from a “Sup” text. This makes misinterpretation the biggest danger of texting in the early stages of dating. The action itself will speak louder than its contents, usually saying one of the following:

1.“I’m scared of you.”
Every time you communicate with someone, the recipient is aware that you had multiple methods available. You could have called, e-mailed, showed up at her doorstep, sent a singing telegram — the possibilities are endless. When a guy texts, it’s clear he chose to do so, leaving the suspicion that he’s too scared of you to actually speak with you, doesn’t have clue how to start a conversation, or is suffering from a social anxiety disorder. None of those things are sexy. Ever.

2. “I don’t really care if you respond or not.”
A text loosely translates to: “I don’t really care about you. It might be fun to go out tonight, and it would be awesome to have sex but I’m too tired/bored/uninterested to make any real effort. So if you get back to me, great. If not, I can finally catch up on Lost. Bonus if you drive over here and I can do both.”

3. “I just sent that text to every single woman in my address book.”
…And he will mostly likely hook up with the first girl who answers, unless of course a much hotter girl gets back to him before he gets Girl No. 1 back to his place.

If a guy genuinely likes a girl, he should want to talk to her. Plus, the act of talking has another positive outcome — it boosts his chances of success. It’s easy to ignore a one-line text message, especially if it’s a chain of lowercase letters and numbers, such as “u want 2 go out 2nite?” A nice, deep, human voice? Now, that’s harder to turn down.

By Koryn Kennedy and Abraham Lloyd
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/dating-texting-romanceRead more:
 Dating and Texting - Should You Text Your Date? - Marie Claire