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Check Please

27 Monday May 2013

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Don’t do dinner for first dates.

There is nothing worse than getting stuck at a long dinner with someone for whom you just don’t like, especially since dinner doesn’t have any outs. Not Alone but Lonely
For this reason, I always advise my clients that first dates be planned for drinks only. This keeps the pressure off, because you always have the opportunity to leave after one drink if you aren’t feeling it. Or you can stay for a second drink if you are. Plus we aren’t the most attractive when we eat anyway.

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Dating During Divorce

19 Friday Apr 2013

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People have mixed feelings about dating while going through the divorce process. While dating someone new can boost your confidence after a break-up, should you wait until the divorce is officially over before seeking out someone new?

Returning to the single life is a major adjustment. However, it also offers an exciting second chance at love. Some people have no issues dating before the divorce is final. Others would rather sign the divorce papers before moving ahead. And still others think they won’t date until the divorce is finalized, but they change their mind when they meet someone new. You just never know when fate will intervene and a new special person will come along.

Here are some reasons that dating during divorce may be the right choice for you:

You Feel More Positive: Dating will keep your mind off of the negative aspects of divorce. It will get you in an upbeat frame of mind.

 

You Can Relax More: You have probably been under a lot of pressure. Dating someone new gives you the opportunity to relax more.

 

You’re Able To Open Up: When you’re dating, you’re much more open and social.

 

You Make New Contacts: The person you’re dating is sure to have friends and it will create a whole new network of people for you.

 

You Can Renew Your Sex Life: In the final stages of your marriage, there was probably no sexual contact. Now you’re free to enjoy what you’ve been missing.

 

You Broaden Your Horizons: You will probably do things that you haven’t done in a long time now that you’re single. Be open to going on dates to art galleries, concerts and other cultural events. You can also go out with people that are in totally different worlds than the married world you were in.

 

Despite the above benefits of dating during divorce, you simply may not be ready to do so. Here are some reasons dating during divorce may not be right for you:

 

You Are Not Healed Yet: You may think that you’re ready to date, but you might not be healed yet emotionally. It is beneficial to work through any unsettled issues before taking on a new love interest.

 

You Are Worried About the Kids: Dating before the divorce is final may not be best for your kids. Sure you can be discrete, but you don’t want to be distracted from their needs.

 

You Would Like to Be More Financially Secure: Dating someone new can be expensive. You may need some time to get your finances settled after the divorce before you go on some nights out on the town.

 

You Want to Spend Some Time Alone: You may want be alone for a bit and dating may not allow for that. You can do things you haven’t done for a while or see friends you haven’t seen.

 

You May Be Judged: People who are against dating until the divorce is official may judge and gossip about you for moving forward now.

 

You’d Rather Date Someone Who Is a Parent: You may want to wait to meet someone else who is a single parent so you can relate to each other.

 

 

Author, divorce blogger and divorce party planner

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lois-tarter/dating-during-divorce_b_3082409.html?utm_hp_ref=life-after-divorce

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is GOOD SEX?

19 Tuesday Mar 2013

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That’s a funny question , because it has sooooo many answers.

I remember hearing stories over the years of women saying what great sex they had..and your thinking “really”…you don’t have to ask them , because you know they are going to tell you anyway…whats the point of having “great Sex” if you cant tell anyone?, (is what they are thinking)…and you know they are full of S%^&…but we listen anyway…because I don’t think they know what great sex is. Ignorance is seriously bliss. Since they have nothing to compare it to, everything feels fantastic , so they think or try to convince themselves.

Geez ..the stories…the dressing up and role playing ,the weird toys, the hot wax …doesn’t that hurt? ….the comments they say while making bad porn noises….that’s usually when I want to hide behind my pillow. The incense they light , and the things that their partner told them to say to them. And of course they had 12 orgasms…uh huh right! I think that they were trying to convince me and everyone else they told how great their weird night was.

Bad sex doesn’t become Bad Sex until you’ve actually had good sex. In fact, you could live your entire life thinking you were having the most mind-blowing sex until you meet someone who actually knows what they’re doing, and then you’re like, What the heck ?

So what is good sex?

Well to you it might be the thigh highs and George Micheal ” I want your sex” playing in the background… or it could be because you love someone so much that just being with them minus all the props feels like you good never imagine yourself being anywhere else. Plus you could never or would never tell a soul about how great it is, there is no words to describe it. The moment is truly sacred.